How to Deal with Difficult Restaurant Customers: Tips and Strategies for Success

The beautiful part about being in the restaurant business is you get to create memories for your guests. For real restaurant pros like you, this is what it's all about. The unfortunate reality is sometimes those memorable moments aren't always positive. Since the pandemic, many restaurants are telling me tales of some of the most difficult customers they've ever encountered. Watch this video for tips and strategies for success dealing with difficult restaurant customers.

We've always had difficult customers in the restaurant industry. I grew up in a family restaurant catering business back in the 1980s, I've been an operations manager in the 1990s, and a chief operating officer of a 30-unit restaurant sports bar chain. I've been around the block. I've seen difficult customers, but the reality is since the pandemic the numbers of these difficult customers have exploded. They even have a name for them now: Karen. I'm sorry if your name is Karen; I know it's a tough rap. With that being said, restaurants need to learn how to deal with difficult customers.

The key in dealing with difficult customers is to understand that empathy and communication are critical.

Let's talk about the importance of empathy. Why is it so important? Empathy is really the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person, so as you’re across from that person, you need them to share their feelings with you. It's essential because, in dealing with difficult customers, it shows that you care, that you're listening, that you have concerns for what their feelings are. Demonstrating empathy allows you to build rapport with your customers, which basically de-escalates the tense situation and creates a positive atmosphere where you can help diffuse that customer's frustrations. Remember, it's a feeling. They're frustrated. It's really not much different than in your personal relationships.

Ways to demonstrate empathy with difficult restaurant customers

Listen actively to your customers concerns without interpreting or becoming defensive. Just be an active listener. Let them tell their story, nod, look them in the eye, be fully engaged, give them 100% of your attention. Acknowledge their feelings by saying things like, “I understand,” “How frustrating that must be,” or “I can see why you're upset.” You're not saying they're right, and you're not saying they're wrong. You're saying, “I get you, I see you, I hear you, I get you. You can express empathy through body language, too, so be conscious that you're not looking like you're mad. Instead, nod, look up, use eye contact, don't fold your arms and stand like you're mad. Try to signal that you genuinely care. 

With empathy you can offer a sincere apology and ask how you can make things right. 

Communication is also essential in dealing with difficult customers because it enables you to explain your position clearly and address any misunderstandings. Clear communication helps you prevent conflict and build trust with your customers, and create positive experiences that can encourage repeat business.

Ways to communicate with difficult restaurant customers

• Use clear, concise language that's easy to understand.
• Repeat back the customer's concern to ensure that you understand them correctly and they know that you understand them correctly.
• Avoid using jargon or technical terms that are industry specific such as “That item was 86’d. We just didn't put it in our POS.” No one outside the restaurant industry understands what that means.
• Provide explanations and solutions to your customers’ concerns. Ensure that they understand the steps that you are taking to address their issue and that you're not brushing them under the carpet.

When you communicate properly, you can focus on building rapport which is essential to build a positive relationship and reduce the tension. You're not a big bad company; you're an individual, an actual person that they're talking to. It’s much harder to hate a person than it is to hate a company. Positive rapport can also help prevent future conflicts and build customer loyalty. When you can build rapport, you can turn a customer around before a bad review hits the internet.

Using a customer's name is important. If you've got their name, use it. People love to hear their name. Make eye contact, show that you're engaged, be an active listener, ask open-ended questions to encourage the customer to share their concerns and their feelings. Show genuine interest in the customer's experience by providing personalized recommendations on how you can fix a situation or what you can recommend from the menu.

If you demonstrate empathy, communicate clearly and build rapport with difficult restaurant customers, you can create a positive and memorable dining experience that can encourage repeat business and generate positive reviews.

Be sure to visit my YouTube channel for more helpful restaurant management video tips.